Dang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years.  Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. 

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. 

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

     

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside.  He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath.  A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. 

They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven.  This will be your home now.' 

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.  'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.' 

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.

'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled the old man. 

'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied.  'You can play for free, every day.'

               

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages. 
'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man.  This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.' 
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. 
'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?,' he asked.
That's the best part,' St. Peter replied.  'You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick.   
This is Heaven!' 

The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?' 
'Not unless you want to,' was the answer. 
'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'
'Never again.  All you do here is enjoy yourself.'
                                            
The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your fucking bran muffins.  We could have been here ten years ago!'

Hot choc

Ironic tat whn n e 1 mention fire place...hot choc n a lass cms in mind. Preferably in some hidden away cottage in winter.

Sippin em hot choc wit bits o marshmellows in it. One of em cold night whre I hd lit em fireplace makin da place warm n cosy. Fire frm em burnin cedar woods is enuf to iluminate da whole cabin with enuf lights to see who I am with. Seein fire reflection of fires dancin in her eyes n addition of her own twinkle of seduction. Me breath caught in me throat. Her skin glows as em fire. Me eyes wondered on her face..the shape of it. Her strongest features r her eyes. Witout utterin n e words, they 'speaks' her opinions. Looking down to her lips..I call it perfect lips..fer me tat is. Soft..n parted..I wanna hear her whisper me name..I wanna taste those lips..her essence. Then move my eyes onto her throat. I cn see her swallowing her saliva....cud it b nervousness? I hv no idea bt tis lass is breakin me self control. I want her real bad. Hv her arms arnd me...hv her threadless body against mine. Pull her gently 2 me fer a kiss n she struggle a lil. Hesitant at first bt in return she looked at me face n lemme taste her soft honeyed lips. Lips locked I cud taste em hot choc n more. She moved closer n straddle herself on me. Body contact n it burns me up all the more. I caress her back wishin tat we were naked. I wanna bury me face in between her bossom....n the least expected happen.....

I BLOODY WOKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woo woo

http://youtu.be/7spBU4Yv8fE

Tell me

Had a nice pic takin session until I started transferin em..TELL ME WATS WRONG WIT TIS PIC???!!!!

Play house

Final Fantasy VII - I Just Died in your Arms Tonight

Proof

I'm serious

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."


Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.



Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife ..



Moral of the story: Women can be  smart but not really really clever.



Let them continue to think how smart they are and just enjoy the show



PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Shay.

Pictures

Network wos annoyin but had fun altogether

Beckonin, bikini bacon...

yuuuuummmmiiiiii.........*drooooooooooooooolsssssss
I WILL NT RESIST TIS LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dun mind lesser bacon..hehehehehehe

Ten Wishes

If I had one wish
It would be to give you a long and tender kiss
If I had two wishes then
I would choose to do it over again
Three wishes you say
I would have kisses for an entire day
Four wishes would not be too many
Ten kisses I would ask, or even twenty
Five wishes might be too much
Then I would choose for a gentle touch
I would wrap my arms around you and hold you ever so tight
I will hold you gently until day melts into night
Six wishes would be very nice
I could hug you more than twice
Seven could be what I need
But only if you really agreed
To love me on into the night
Till day breaks with early morning light
Eight wishes I will ask
Would you grant me this tender loving task
Nine wish, no one get so many
I think that nine would be more than plenty
What I really want is wish number ten
This very wish would make me the happiest of men
I would kiss you
I would hold you
I would love you
I would give you my heart and life
Ten wishes then

Sexay huh?

She

She
May be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She
May be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day

She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
The smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell

She
Who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She
May be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die

She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough in ready years
Me
I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is

She
She, oh she