God Bless the Irish for keeping us young

I tink Paddy's me uncle frm me pa's grans uncle daughter's oh bugger!!!!!!! I'm related 2 Paddy & Mick!!!

Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant. Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?. Paddy replies - I'm gunna take her with me! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Paddy goes to America for the 1st time, walking up 5th Avenue . He sees a building on fire and rushes over to see people stuck at the 4th floor windows. He shouts up , - I'm Paddy John Dara O'Neill, an Irish rugby player, jump and I'll catch ya.- A girl jumps out and Paddy catches her, a guy jumps and Paddy gets him too. Then a black guy jumps and Paddy lets him hit the concrete, then shouts up. Come on now folks, there's no point throwing down the burnt ones!! -------------------------------------------------------------------- Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year".... Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th." --------------------------------------------------------------------- Paddy & Mick find three hand grenades, so they take them to a police station. Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?" Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two." --------------------------------------------------------------------- Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find the shampoo?" Paddy says, "yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine." -------------------------- END -------------------------------------

Happy Birthday Dragon!!!

Age and Laughter

Happy birthday, you’re not getting old,
Stay in the game, it’s not time to fold.
Wrinkles and grey hair, are just a new look,
Countless experiences, you should write in a book.

A birthday is seldom, a serious occasion,
Try not to take it, like the d-day invasion.
Laughter and jokes are within sight,
Stock up on both, all through the night.

Happy Birthday Brat!!!

Can I Borrow $25?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door. 

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?' 

DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man. 

SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?' 

DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily. 

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?' 

DAD: ' If you must know, I make $50 an hour.' 

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down. 

SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?' 

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities. ' 

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. 

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money? 

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think: 

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. 

'Are you asleep, son?' He asked. 

'No da ddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy. 

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.' 

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. 

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. 

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father. 

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled. 

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied. 

'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.' 

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. 
It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love. 

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives..

 

Robbie Williams feat. Nicole Kidman - Something Stupid HQ [2001]

Lou Gramm - Just Between You And Me (Official Music Video).flv

In da mood fer songs n lyrics. In 1 of em moods 2 just bury meslf in tat significant arms n let her take control n mk me feel tat evrytins is goin 2 b alrite. I'm tired..vera tired. Merde help me!!

Morning Motivation

When I woke up this morning lying in bed, I was asking myself,
What are some of the secrets of success in life?
I found the answer right there,
in my very room

AND NOT TO FORGET,
THE CARPET SAID...
KNEEL DOWN AND PRAY.

Carry a Heart that Never Hates.

Carry a Smile that Never Fades.

Carry a Touch that Never Hurts. 


HAVE A PURPOSEFUL DAY 
IN THE LORD! 
Never give the devil a ride, he will want to take over the driving

Poem

THE WOMANS POEM:

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart, and strong.
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks.
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Will pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh, send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.


 THE MANS POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac gymnast with
big boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me hunting, fishing and drinking.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.


Wake up lassies!!! Tis is da same s tryin mk peace between 2 countries who hv been at war since god knws whn!!
I like da reality in me species poem evn if it's fantasy s well. ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!